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5 - Get a Job

“ By joining the diamond scepter and lotus, they should make sacrifices to each other. There is no worship apart from this.” unknown

I have often said that the best kind of job for me to get is a something that rhymes with "snow job". And I really mean that in the most profound and esoteric type of ways regarding what I refer to as "sacred sexual alchemy" meaning what is the fundamental basis of materialization of desires, of how creativity actually works here in the illusion world we call real life. I know that when other people tell me to get a job they are referring to something that leads to the idea of a paycheck and giving your life to the maintenance and stability of that piece of paper and whatever you have to do to get it. However what I mean is the knowledge that can be applied of energy and how it works, of life and how it works, of a kind of knowing about "sexuality" that may not even be something that most people are consciously aware of and yet is happening intrinsically all the time.

I know that the power and focus in the male organ when related to by a female energy with a great intensity of joy and love and passion and curiousity in the most intimate ways esoterically leads to the ability to consciously create reality together brilliantly. I prefer the female relationship in that regard for the balance of power in that her ability and her part combined with the male generates so beautifully when done consciously. Including paychecks.

So I suppose the one really is connected to the other in a sort of way that I wonder how many people really would understand and put into practice and truly experience the glory of in this lifetime in this world. To the fullest.

“Constantly take refuge at my feet, my dear. Be gracious, beloved, and give me pleasure with your diamond sceptre.Look at my 3-petaled lotus, its centre adorned with a stamen. It is a Buddha paradise, adorned with a red Buddha, A cosmic mother who bestows bliss and tranquility on the passionate. Abandon all conceptual thought and unite with my reclining form. Place my feet upon your shoulders and look me up and down. Make the fully awakened sceptre enter the opening in the centre of the lotus. Move a hundred, thousand, hundred thousand times in my 3-petaled lotus of swollen flesh.”
unknown Tantric Yoga quote

"The Elixer of Life...Others believe that this magical potion can be produced naturally by a woman during the act of sex. It is known as the divine nectar of the sacred waters and is believed to contain the fountain of youth. Researchers have shown that this fluid, ejaculated (squirted) from glands in the anterior vaginal walls, contains an enzyme that extends the life of cells and hence has been called the enzyme of immortality. The same nectar is even mentioned in fairy tales in which the princess is "awakened" by the kiss of her handsome prince-a metaphor for an intimate, sexual embrace."
Christine R. Page M.D. "2012 and the Galactic Center, The Return of the Great Mother."

So this idea of getting a job whereas there was no idea about starting a business, or being an entrepreneur, or me doing anything like what my nature actually is. It was only about getting a job. Which is an excellent thing to do, however in my case it is also a matter of pursuing my destiny.

In case any body reading this wants to have a job, or a better job, which is something I totally understand then here is a link to my subliminal audio library. At this time of this writing I think most of the titles are available for free download and there is a title, "Great New Job". Click here for the page to locate and download that.

Just to be clear, I am not against JOBS. I am in support of people doing what they truly desire with their life. This story however is my story, and some of it is about me, and so in that regard I am sharing that for me, I feel that my aptitude and skill set and destiny is more on the lines of being in business, rather than having a job.

Being in business, being an entrepreneur includes having many many jobs. I am just saying that it was my destiny to be born into a family situation where I was encourage to "get a job" rather than to "start a business" or "be an entrepreneur".

In addition to being ultra serious about what I already said about the power of creation and the part of the body that is called the diamond sceptre and the idea of the yoni and the phallus and the focus on the mysteries of conscious reality creation with lovers.

I remember how that all got started for me. I don't think it would have the same impact if I had grown up any other way. I was programmed to be poor by my father and every body who followed him in so called "Christian" church. It's called the "Act of Contrition"

Those are the same people that proposed that in order to get money I get a job. It was a great training to build strength of character. Not because of the horrible psychology mind programming abuse that I feel that Act of Contrition felt like to me. Because of surviving it. And many years later, when I was being a "very good person" and I had gone to university and graduated with honors and then felt absolutely lost regarding getting a job. It was a very strong experience. I am not going to get into it except to say I really understand what people go through and why it happens.

Somehow I ended up having three jobs. None of them remotely connected to what I learned in university. But I had these "good jobs". It was crazy. I felt crazy because I wasn't following my own way. As I started to learn how to consciously create my own reality and get in touch with my higher self a vision came to me over a two year period to build a business corporation. It was a very clear and very big vision. And in faith to that I quit my jobs, all of them. The idea I had at the time was a heart felt sensation that if I did not focus full time on consciously creating my own reality, on following my vision for building this business corporation then I would never do it.

Soon after quitting my jobs I started doing a business I was inspired to do that involved my artistic and my skills I had learned in home renovations jobs. I felt I had to start with something in terms of having my own business.

The strange thing is I had this dream or vision as I called it written out for building a business corporation. And I was supposed to raise funds to do that. And I had no idea how. So this vision was something I didn't exactly have instructions or a clear way how to do it. So the art for the home business was my way of "doing something" in the direction of the big business. Almost symbolically.

So in addition to work I was already doing part-time "in my own business" with graphics arts on the first Apple computers and painting on canvas I started something that to me was a vision for something more of a "business" with a product that could be mass-produced.

Here are some of the paintings I was making and selling at the time.

What I ended up doing was no doubt what I needed to do, as I feel that is how a vision works. You just keep holding it and refining it and defining it more clearly until it comes true. Every body seems to agree, you just hold your vision. That is how to make it come true. And in doing that it has such a great force, such a powerful even though subtle force that it directs your every action.

So I had visited the newly opened Japanese pavillion in the Montreal Botanical Gardens and it really inspired me. I started to build these Japanese style screens in my living room and sell them. The intriguing thing looking back is that my true vision for the business corporation involved three components and none of them was building Japanese Screens.

Here is an advertising flyer I produced a few years later with some of the work I sold. These were beautiful paper and wood hand-made screens. The one with the tree was featured in an article about me in a home garden magazine.

But when you consider that at the time of the vision flat screen displays had not been invented or at least were not in the public yet and that my vision included a division of my corporation that made electronic art that heals peoples brains and was viewed on flat screen devices.

When you consider that my vision was ahead of its time and so I was doing a representation of building "flat screens" that displayed beautiful light. As that is what those japanese screens are. Incredible even now when I think about what I was doing as that was not conscious that connection between the vision and the business. And it was incredible the kind of passion and drive and commitment to do whatever I could do.

I did end up selling some screens, and also getting started on the computer with designing artwork and with doing the things which the other aspects of the corporation vision involved. Financial Market trading, and healing of the body through sacred sexual touch.

Everything got put into action at that time in some way.

But there is no way that it was being funded because i didn't make much money and all those things had costs and the monthly costs of my apartment and my truck and food and you know all that and I had quit all my jobs.

After about six months I ended up selling all my things and put together about $3000. I remember paying my last months rent by giving the landlord a painting I had made.

Near the end I had tried to get just any kind of job, you know pizza delivery, working in a cafe, but the ideas of needing large amounts of funding and building this amazing business had taken hold and before long I was on my way to California with a few hundred dollars in my pocket and an idea I had gotten from the "unseen friends" on how to get out of this human body.

I used to think that the transformation in my consciousness I was going through from being a person who was not consciously creating my reality to being some body who is was a death-like experience and in my inexperience about that I mistakenly thought it was not working out and i needed to exit the physical plane.

I had already tried and failed once in the apartment I lived in during the time after I had quit all my jobs.

Now I realize that the pain of the world I was living in, the world of lies let us say, was so severe that as I was healing that pain was seemingly unbearable.

I had been "lovingly tricked" by the unseen friends after I pleaded and insisted on their help to find a way to leave my body. They said I should think about chemistry and that pushed me to awaken herbal healing powers from other lifetimes. The method I liked the best was their suggestion to find a place with cliffs that I felt was high enough for me to jump off such that when I looked over the edge I would know for sure I would die if I jumped. They suggested those precise details and that became a very important factor in the experience that ensued.

The "unseens" has let me know that due to being a noble soul and needing a dignified death that I should then assured it would work (i.e. that I would certainly die if I jumped at that height) step back and then run off the edge with arms outstretched. That as my body dropped my soul and spirit would soar and separate from the body and it would be done.

To this day I look for high places and I have never yet stood on one knowing that I would die for sure if I jumped. The whole thing has turned into this cultivation of allowing feelings of immortality, the power of conquering death, disease, and old age and extraordinary healing powers and a sense of my destiny. A metaphor for standing on the edge of the vastness of my higher self and being with the unknown void state of the All that Is. And a desire to go to the Grand Canyon Skywalk.

At the time through my dialogue with them over a period of weeks it became clear they suggested a place far away in Big Sur California. I had never heard of that area. I trusted them and went with one suitcase, one intention, and a few hundred dollars. I marvel at the willingness on my part to do all that and yet how life really pushed me, destiny pushed me down a road that seemed blind and black and nothing there at all and yet turned out to be a great new life. How my unseens negotiated with my own negativity and inner pain and life situation and we somehow made it happen together. Strangely. Mystically moving forward.

All the dark feelings of pain were with me as I left the cold and ice and snow of November in Montreal, Canada and found my way into the warmth of California several days later. I flew to San Franscisco, took a bus to Monterey, and a $50 taxi ride to Esalen Center in Big Sur.

I had chosen that place somehow not knowing that it was a worldwide healing centre, or that they didn't take visitors who walked in off the highway. Reservations were required. I had only picked it because it was on the cliffs near Monterey. It's an incredible magic for me to consider that of all the places I picked to go to it was there. Knowing the black state I was in and somehow I ended up there. I did that. Yes with help. But I did that. Some part of me, a greater me that lives and moves forward with this great life and great life purpose no matter what the darkness seems to be. And yes I ask for the day when I am done with all forms of my own negativity to be this day and from now on a life of beautiful well-being, enthusiasm, pleasure, joy, compassion and love always love free of all of my own negativity forever.

I think that is partly what I wanted to throw off the cliff and metaphorically speaking and magically speaking no doubt that inspired transformation. Emotional transformation, and life transformation.

Crossing the border into the USA the bull necked border guard looked at my one way ticket and my small amount of cash and whatever else he had determined and made it absolutely clear that there was no way he was letting me into the country. (Years later I uncovered the fact that I have the legal right to citizenship in the USA through birth and also the same for European Union but at the time he was considering letting me in on my Canadian passport.)

He said no way and I instantaneously and spontaneously closed my eyes momentarily and looked up into the third eye and spoke to one of my unseen friends and said "you have to help me". I opened my eyes and the border guard stamped my ticket authoritatively and said "get on the plane." Just like that. Years later living in San Diego my neighbor turned out to be a US Border Patrol officer.

When I arrived at Esalen Center I had already been craning my neck from the taxi that took me there to see if I could see over the cliffs along the highway on the Pacific Coast on which we were driving from Monterey to Big Sur. I wasn't really able to see over but I was getting the very anxious feeling from what I could see that these cliffs were not high enough at all for my purpose.

Arriving at the edge of the Esalen Property on the highway in the taxi, (I suppose I had asked him to drop me there instead of driving in) I walked in to their property and miraculously it was a slow time for them and they allowed me to book a room for the night. It wasn't just any room as they gave me a very luxurious place that was normally meant for four people all to my self.

I only paid for one night because I intended to find the right cliffs and be done with this world as soon as possible.

The beauty and healing power of the place and the relative quiet was very compelling. By the time I got to look over the cliffs I had enjoyed a very peaceful long nights sleep, and was steeping in the incredible to me new feeling of California. The food was great, and the sulfur hottubs. And then I went to the cliffs and looked over.

And as saw that it was not high enough for a certain death at all, and looked into the crashing swirling sea water below I started to cry and cry and cry very hard.

So more of the pain released. And more healing occurred. I didn't have enough cash for a second night as I recall I was about five dollars short. The desk clerk made up the difference from his own pocket. I was dreaming a lot and it turned out that later on those dreams were prophetic dreams of places and people and events in my future.

Consciously I felt very done with my past, and that there was no future. I was very much in the present moment in this beautiful healing place with the ocean. I arranged to do construction work in exchange for staying there for another week. The Monarch butterfly migration was happening and there were huge numbers of them in the trees symbolizing my transformation from my old life to my new life.

Somebody posted a notice on the bulletin board offering a ride to Los Angeles and I had met some body else that said I could stay with them for a while in some town on the way to Los Angeles. Some body I thought or hoped was going to be my female true love partner in life that I had just met at Esalen. But it turned out to be Aphrodite playing with me again. The first time I had met this woman she literally came out of the sea naked.

Come on I thought my dream had come true right then and there. Aphrodite, deathless Goddess all that my hurt heart hopes make happen, I know you will, always in love my friend. In any case that must have been important that I had a reason to get into that gold Mercedes with the lady going to Los Angeles so I could supposedly get a ride to go and spend time with the woman that had came out of the sea. And the smell of Amber the day she did.

But like I said, it was Aphrodite showing herself through that body and that body was nothing to me afterall but some body that helped Aphrodite move me along my path.

I took the ride and late at night at a pay phone making the call to that new acquaintance that I thought was some body for me and me for them and yet was no body other than a body that Aphrodite worked through that day in that way. Yes they weren't even answering the phone as I called in dark night on the edge of my reality and the person I was driving with said I could come and stay with her in San Diego. She wasn't even going to Los Angeles! I had never heard of a place called San Diego. But later I discovered I had dreamed of it. I had seen the warships in the harbor in a dream.

About a year after arriving in San Diego I ended up living downtown literally right next to the place where all the naval vessels docked. I had seen in a vision or night dream this very nearly exact scenery with a wharf and a naval ship and I was meeting this woman that I felt was going to be my life partner. I saw her in that vision.

The strange thing is that never worked out the way I thought it would. We met, we fell in love, I hadn't yet moved to downtown near the shipyards. It was a composite dream foretelling several key scenes and events over the next 13 years all in one vision! In the dream.

Yes, she was the most important lover of my life up to that time and certainly I have no idea how I would feel if I ever met her again. Our time together was perfect. I met her when I started giving these classes on manifesting she attended. They were the first classes where I actually started teaching or rather doing it together in a group in that regard.

These in person manifesting circles I used to run at the start of my career sharing that kind of thing. It was so fun, so great. In San Diego. I had this rented house, a nice place and in the living room where we did it I had gone out to the desert and brought back the biggest rocks I could carry. And I piled them in the center of the empty room. No other furniture except this one love seat and I think a few chairs. Those were really powerful groups. One week was on manifesting romantic relationship stuff, the other week on money. We would go around the circle so that each person would get a turn saying what they want to materialize for their life.

And then whomever got an intuition or idea for that person would speak it out. The next week people would come back and report that they got what they wanted. The power of the group is so incredible. I loved doing that work but have NEVER had the opportunity to do that ever again. So strange.

Years later I was in Norfolk, Virginia and had again felt that the woman I was there to be with was the romantic life partner for each other. And it was great. But the thing is that vision I had at Big Sur, with the warships and the wharf with this particular lover on it, the lover in the vision was the one I met and spent time with in San Diego in my first year there. But I had always felt there was something not quite exactly right about the warship in the vision.

I mean being in San Diego living downtown there was very clearly so much like that vision. But when I was in Norfolk and you would walk up the street just about two blocks from the condo there was a warship, and a wharf next to it, EXACTLY like my vision.

And yet now I was far into the future way beyond my time in San Diego and with a different lover than the one that was walking on the wharf with me in that original vision. And that second lover never worked out as a life partner either.

So this job I have of consciously creating my own reality so far has been a very different kind of life with unseen friends, and strange experiences, and dreams and visions, and a business corporation that has been founded and so much of it prepared and readied for the time when it is meant to be. And a great amount of experience consciously creating my reality in such a way that along with that way I was for a time considered to be a world wide guru on the subject. Rightfully so.

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